Did you know I was a Science Experiment?

Well, to be more accurate, did you know that my teeth were a science experiment?   Rob, you're sure I am overly fixated on your teeth - as in avoiding cavities by brushing well, trying to keep your teeth bright by using mouth rinse and wearing your retainer now that you've had braces.  (I recently called it the "gift" of having straight teeth - which you disagreed with, since you say you never wanted braces and don't think attractive teeth are at all important.)  After discussing your teeth many times, let me explain a bit about my teeth.

Grammie's had more than her share of teeth issues, so was determined that us kids would have minimal cavities.  I remember taking pink fluoride pills.  Deserts were infrequent.  Candy was an occasional treat at holidays, although Julie and I did buy it with our allowance at Mom & Pop's store and 2nd and Christian Streets (such as "nomenators" which I later realized were actually called "Now & Later's).  A couple times a year, Julie and I got to pick out sugar cereals as a special treat - otherwise we got cheerios and other such healthy cereal.  So my teeth were strong, but certainly not straight.  In fact, my teeth were very crowded and crooked - I think mostly because I have a small mouth.  Well, so I was a good candidate to be a science experiment.....  at the University of Pennsylvania dental school (which I assume offered a nice discount to families, particularly those that offered up their first born children).  Here's a picture of me that gives you the general idea:

I distinctly remember my first orthodontic evaluation, probably when I was 12.  I believe I was in a room with several dental chairs, when along came an orthodontics instructor and several students.  There was a discussion about my "diagnosis" and what could be done about my disastrous mouthful and overbite.  Then the fun began....  so, in short order:

• I had four canines (eye teeth) removed.  I'm not sure if this was done in 1 visit or 2 visits, but know I had local anesthetic.  I don't remember this being a problem.
• Once they healed up, back I went to have little plastic spacers shoved between many of my teeth.  Felt wonderful!  Not long after that, I had a long appointment to have bands shoved on, and connected to a wire with rubber bands.  It was a lot of metal - I had bands around every tooth (rather than brackets glued to the front of the teeth).
• From there on, for 2-3 years I went back regularly to have the wires tightened (my mouth was sore for a few days after each appointment), got occasional stabbing wounds from wires, used various combinations of rubber bands connected from top to bottom teeth, and for a time a head brace that connected to my braces (I remember a wide blue strap that went behind my head) prescribed for wear when I was home.  
• Many visits involved taking the bus by myself after school, from McCall Elementary School in center city out to west Philly where the school was located.  This was a bit frightening for a while, though I got used to it.
• Eventually, I graduated to getting my braces off (although strangely, I later missed feeling them in my mouth) and got a retainer.  I remember walking out of the building without my braces - freedom!!

Then, when I was 16 or so, my wisdom teeth partially arrived.  Not surprisingly, given my small mouth, they didn't come in all the way - they were mostly impacted.  So what to do?  Back to being a science experiment, but his time for the oral surgeon students.  I was evaluated, and they declared that the extraction would be done with local anesthetic.  Well, I did dread going for my Friday appointment, when I found out that they give you laughing gas which I think is supposed to relax you, instead it induces tears, and then they commence with sticking you under a dental student's elbow (metaphorically) while he exerts great pressure to crack the molars then pick all their pieces out of your jaw.  You go home with a swollen face to recuperate over the weekend with ice packs and (a silver lining) some ice cream.  However, unfortunately you have to go back AGAIN the next Friday because they do only one side at a time with local anesthetic.  The second time around, I managed to get along without crying, but the extractions and recuperation were just as bad.  Luckily, I didn't have to take the bus - Grammie actually gave me a ride back and forth for the surgeries....  yeahhhh!  Here is a picture of the building I got to frequent on 40th street.

I'm glad to say that your dental care has been less traumatic, generally.  And we do have some sweets in the house, including sugar cereals. You both had some memorable letters from the tooth fairy (aka Dad) and money under your pillows when you lost baby teeth.  Alex, your wisdom teeth were removed in one fell swoop while under general anesthetic.  And hopefully you have come to realize that spending time on brushing, flossing & rinsing really does matter to keep your mouth (and heart) healthy, avoid uncomfortable dentist visits and keep your wallets intact.